Had an upsetting talk with my P and another HOD.

Never did I expect some things said in a casual context to be taken in a negative light. 

And because recently they were doing our appraisal, such incidents were surfaced.

It was good feedback for me in a way that NOW I know whether I am in a informal situation or formal situation, as long as it concerns WORK, I had better be careful about my choice of words and not lightly pass comments which may be interpreted negatively.

I am very sure of myself that in a professional setting, I will put things across in a positive manner, with sound rationale and intent.  I know the idea behind supporting organizational goals and values and the importance to protray a positive attitude about them, whether to fellow colleagues or outsiders.

Another upsetting issue concerns people who had worked quite closely with me for this year. 

I am aware that the management will find out about us through other staff, informal peer appraisal sort of. 

I thought that I had “covered my bases” pretty well with my class in terms of what they need to learn and even stuff beyond the syllabus, computer skills for one.

And 2 of my colleagues actually said that I am not stretching my class enough.  Stretching in terms of exposing them to more difficult questions etc.  OMG, I told the P straight in the face how would they know what I did with my class when they were not there with me in class to know what I did with them. Sounds defensive but I didn’t care because I felt that they were of no position to judge whether I had stretched my pupils or not since the term “stretch” is not quantifiable too. I can have my own way focus for the class, can’t I? Of course, as long as I am benefiting them.

The upsetting part was not just about the accusation/ remark but rather the fact that they did not even tell me about how they feel and I had to hear it from a third party

Since we had been working toegther for almost a year, why didn’t anyone say anything to me if they really thought so? Or are they just looking for things to say about me, I wonder. I really don’t understand.

Another comment about me is that I am “exam-oriented”. Well, on one hand, they are always blaming us at the lower pri level that we don’t lay a good foundation for the upper pri teachers thus they don’t do well in exams when they move up. Yet now they say I am too focused on exams! Neglecting the challenging questions part of the WB (which I explained I had substituted with my own worksheet).

I feel that my conscience is clear, I have not short-changed my pupils in any way. I know what I am doing in class.

It seems like friendships cannot be formed in the workplace, this I find very saddening.